Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
