On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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