I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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