Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
