I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize