Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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