Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
