Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
operation have a gay friend backfired
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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