you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
