Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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