I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
