you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I fill condoms, not promises.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You ate ashes out of my bong
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
