It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
