you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
