Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
