I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
