Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
