I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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