Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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