try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
