It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
