I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How does one acquire holy water?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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