So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
