So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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