Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
