you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
