The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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