I skipped work to stalk him.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize