This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize