so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Randomize
