So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
