okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
