thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
