No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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