and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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