i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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