I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
