i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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