so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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