Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
