..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
