Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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