Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
