suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
