Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have so many feelings about this burrito
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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