The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
