Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
