Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize