who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
