Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
