Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
