So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize