That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
