just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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