David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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