Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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