Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
